I wanted to share an article written by Dr Harry Schaumburg, I definitely could not have written this any better be blessed!
All forgiveness is not created equal. Broadly speaking there are two types of forgiveness: biblical forgiveness and therapeutic forgiveness.
Therapeutic forgives has been defined as, “as integral to authentic healing from addiction-indicating that one is released from carrying the burdens of guilt, shame, resentment, fear, sadness and anger (Kurtz & Ketchum, 1992). This process of forgiveness takes a holistic approach to changing one’s lifestyle, accepting responsibility for one’s actions, and reaching a place of self-compassion and forgiveness towards self and other. Self-compassion helps maintain personal goals, increase happiness and decrease depression.”
Further, therapeutic forgiveness is defined as considering five aspects inherent to forgiveness: (1) it is a learnable skill, (2) it benefits the forgiver, not the offender, (3) it is an opportunity to assume control over the situation and reassert personal power, (4) it is an action that enables the individual to take ownership of personal feelings, and (5) it is an opportunity for personal healing.
So with this forgiveness, “you continue to practice trusting the heartfelt intuition of your wise mind- integrating reason with emotion-so there is no situation too complex, confusing, or difficult to face. When you become centered into your true self, take stock of the big picture, the transformative power of forgiveness becomes clearer. When you choose to forgive, all you truly have to lose is resentment, anger, self-doubt, sadness, and guilt. You can become free of those emotional weights and allow your heart and mind to guide your path toward lightness in spirit, compassion, and acceptance.”
I can see why people are easily drawn into some level of therapeutic forgiveness.
Therapeutic forgiveness maximizes the absoluteness of self. Without any reference to God or His Word, be yourself. It tells us that apart from God, each one of us can have unconditional positive self-regard. God is simply reduced to affirming this endorsement of self-affirmation. Grace is reduced to affirming me as whatever I happen to be. Sounds good, and builds one’s self-esteem. Forgiveness becomes a matter of letting go of real offenses, real transgressions, and real sin. This is not biblical grace and it destroys grace by destroying forgiveness.
Biblical forgiveness recognizes that we have seriously offended God by our disobedience. It is so serious that without forgiveness we are under His wrath. First, we must repent! Repentance goes way beyond feeling sorry for our disobedience. In repentance we change our minds and our hearts so we are in sync with God’s will, thus changing the entire direction of our lives. We now strive to live our lives for God’s purpose and glory. Notice that is the opposite direction of therapeutic forgiveness.
Therapeutic forgiveness is dangerous! It’s dangerous because we can lose heaven if we fail to embrace biblical forgiveness and forgive others their debts. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14, 15). Simply put, if we don’t have forgiveness and offer it to others, we perish in hell.
Here is the standard we need to set in forgiving others, written by Puritan Thomas Watson over 300 years ago:
“Forgiveness of others occurs when we strive against all thoughts of revenge; when we will not to do our enemies mischief, but wish well to them, grieve over their calamities, pray for them, seek reconciliation with them, and show ourselves ready on all occasion to relieve them.”
Noah Webster, a devout Christian defined forgiveness in his American Dictionary of the English Language, 1828, as, “The act of forgiving; the pardon of an offender, by which he is considered and treated as not guilty. The forgiveness of enemies is a Christian duty.”
The crucial element in forgiving others is the heart. Without the heart there is no forgiveness; “if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Matt. 18:35), you are not forgiven!
For more information on Dr Harry Schaumburg visit his website at http://stonegateresources.org/